Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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