you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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