I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
