He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
birth control should be required to get into college
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Found your dick twin last night
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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