Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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