my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
When did angry sex become our thing?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
