we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
