But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
