Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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