so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize