They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
