I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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