You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
