Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
