how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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