We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
