I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
