He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
