peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
