Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize