Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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