My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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