I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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