At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Randomize
