he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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