Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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