whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
