Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize