I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
