there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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