he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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