before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
