Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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