I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
two words...techno handjob
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
