he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
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