Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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