So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
