hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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