i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
did i just pee glitter
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
