after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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