you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
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