I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Randomize
