So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
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