she looked like the bat from fern gully.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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