So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
bring money and cleavage
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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