Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
