This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
