OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize