Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
