Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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