why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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