i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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