on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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