His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
