$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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