he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
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