They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Randomize
