Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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