You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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