i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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