Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
