Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
