Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
