vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
