We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
