I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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