we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
