Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
