omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Never joke about your clitoris.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
