i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
